ever feel attacked

I have been reading in 1-2 Kings recently, and a story that has been on my mind for a days has the been the story of 1 Kings 17-18 where the prophet Elijah gets a Word from God and then must follow up on it. God has said that it won't rain until Elijah gives the word based upon the evil and sin of the people, particularly the sin of the King Ahab and his evil wife Jezebel. Then God send Elijah way out into the wilderness where God will watch over Elijah by sending ravens to bring food to him.

Long story short, finally the word from God comes to go and tell the king that they need to meet and rain will come soon. But Elijah tells the king to bring his "religious people" who worship the god of Baal to a place called Mt. Carmel. It is the ultimate in showdowns. These 400 prophets or priest of Baal are to prepare a bull for sacrifice but they can't set it on fire. They must pray to their god. It is quite comical on what happens and yet a picture of human blindness, futility, stupidity, er. you get the picture hopefully. Check out 1 Kings 18-25-29.

Then it is Elijah's turn and that starts in verse 40. He makes it near impossible for it happen unless God shows up and boy did God ever show up! Right after this, Elijah prays for rain it is a "gully washer" to borrow a phrase from the South.

But my reason for this post comes in Chapter 19 right after God has done all this amazing stuff and Elijah was used of God. Verses 1-2, Elijah was personally threatened, and attacked. Why would a man who has just seen God show up in such a powerful way, a miraculous way do what Elijah did as we see in verse 3. Did he not learn anything? Hello! God protected him, provided for him during the drought, and proved Himself all over.

Yet Elijah was fearful and wanted to die. Elijah was a man just like you and I. His life was threatened and he was personally being attacked. He had been in isolation for a while and I am sure he didn't like it much as we people need each other. But sometimes it is the people that we need the most who hurt the most. We feel betrayed. We feel hurt. We feel like the carpet has been pulled out from our feet and we don't think clearly. I am beginning to understand what Elijah may have been going through.

I am not going into specifics but I am feeling this way and I need to hear from God. Maybe the accusation is completely true, maybe not but this seems to be taken me out of sync. I wonder what this means. I wonder why. I feel betrayed. I feel hurt. I am mad to be honest. The bottom line is that I am in no way a man of Elijah's character or level. I am not one to be in the same conversation with the man, but the events that have taken place and truthfully been taking place for a while (i was just hoping that I was wrong about the person) would work themselves out. I think this might have been what Elijah was going through. I may be way off base, but it is where I am at or how it feels to me and may have felt to Elijah.

If you are one of the 2 or 3 who read this, would you lift me up? Would you ask God to give me and my family a teachable spirit? Would you ask that we honor God despite our circumstances and that we act with wisdom, discernment, and handle things with grace? Would you ask that I not act out on my emotions or feelings which is really what I want to do?

Thanks and if you find yourself feeling like this, please let me know so I can do the same for you.