A new ministry opportunity

In case you weren't at FBC Marlow today . . . . sometime after Falls Creek I will be transitioning from Student Pastor to LIFE pastor. If you aren't connected to our church, that essentially means that I will be running the day to day operations of our gym (LIFE Center), working with small groups, & the adult Sunday School classes for parents of College students down to the college students themselves, as well as having a role in outreach. I am excited about this new ministry opportunity as it will allow me to do something I have always wanted to do in the Recreation ministry and a basketball gym!!!!! I will also be able to hang out with students in the LIFE center after school (STILL WORKING WITH STUDENTS!!!) Plus, through my 4 years+ here at Marlow, I have a burden for a few areas that I hope to help reach more people. God willing, we can begin a new singles ministry & strengthen up our College/Career area (most are my former students already!!!) You might be wondering how this affects our current LIFE pastor. Good question! He is going to be transitioning to our Senior Adult pastor as well. He is not leaving, and neither am I. What it does mean is that we will immediately begin the process of finding the best student pastor possible, and I will get to have a role in helping that happen. I have been a student pastor since 1996 minus the 4 years of seminary. So to leave this area of ministry was a step of faith for me, but it was one I could see coming. I didn't expect it to come so soon, but as I sit back and look, it just fits me where I am now-what God has brought me to, plus it allows me to serve in a church that is alive & that I love. It isn't like I was in trouble or in danger of losing my job if I didn't take it, the opportunity was presented and after praying through it, we are at peace about this and excited about it. When I looked at this, our pastor looked at this, the deacons looked at this, we all came to a similar conclusion. Why didn't we think of this sooner? It will cause my role with students to be different, but my role with students will not change in that I will working with them from a different vantage point in the LIFE center. I aim to help the next student pastor as needed and continue help students serve now as well as prepare for their future in being lifelong disciples of Jesus. I believe our student ministry will go higher & reach more students as we get the right person that God desires for this position. The students need that, the adult volunteers need that, and I believe that God will take us to places with students, their families, and enlarging the Kingdom in ways we can't imagine or even dream. I look forward to seeing that firsthand & being amazed at what God has done.

Can Satan influence Christ Followers?

Something hit me as I started reading the Word this morning. I am reading in 1 Chronicles 21:1. "Satan rose up against Israel" (as if Satan were ever for Israel, since Israel was chosen by God, but I digress) "and caused David to take a census of the people of Israel." I am reminded of how followers of God can be used by Satan for Satan's desires (which go against God's). God had already told Israel not to take a census. Satan got David to disregard God's Word. Isn't that how Satan gets me? He causes me not to believe God's Word or choose to ignore or "forget" it. Go to the New testament, it happened to 2 of the disciples. Judas was impacted by Satan and never recovered. Peter was also. No, I am not being heretical. Matthew 16:23 Jesus turned and said to Peter, "Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men." Isn't that what happens every time we give in/fall/doubt God's Word/act of what Satan is tempting us with? We do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men. Just had to share this thought from the Word. This was for me, but I hope it helps whomever reads this. For His Glory & Renown, Jeremy

A passage of Scripture I have struggled with until . . .

Ever had a passage of Scripture that you have read countless times and you just didn't get why God did what He did, and why? I have way too many, but on this day I actually did some research/reading in depth on one. 1 Chronicles 13:9-14. It is also in 2 Sam 6:6-7. David is moving the Ark of the Covenant to Jerusalem. The Ark is the representation of God's presence to the people of Israel. It is a time of celebration until . . . the oxen stumble. A man named Uzzah reaches out to steady the Ark of God. He doesn't it to fall and get damaged. His motives appear pure & right. David's motives appear to be pure and right until . . . . Don't you hate those . . . ? Why was God angry? Why did this guy have to die? I didn't get it until . . . 1 Chron 13:1 tells us that David consulted his officials. Sounds good, right. He sought wise counsel. But what I didn't see until today was that David didn't seek after God. He did in 2 Sam 5:19, 23. He sought his friends and not God. But wait before we go jumping on David, how many times do we (I) do the very same thing? We ask our close friends for counsel and fail to ask God? I am guilty! But there is even more that I missed and we miss unless we do the background. I discovered God gave specific ways to move the Ark. Numbers 4:4, the Ark must be covered with the veil or inner curtain of the Tent of Meeting. Numbers 4:15, they must not touch the Ark but use carrying poles, and it must be carried by the Kohathites clan of the tribe of Levi. The warning was that if you touch it, you will die. This isn't looking good for David right now or Uzzah. If we look in Numbers 7, the Kohathites were not given a cart or oxen to carry the Ark or sacred objects, but they were to carry them on their shoulders with the carrying poles. So my question is where did David come up with this idea of putting the Ark on a cart pulled by oxen? The answer is not good for David or Uzzah. It comes from their enemy, the Philistines. Go read 1 Sam 6. These people did not know God's law of handling the Ark. They used a new cart and had 2 cows that had just calved to pull the cart. David did the same thing as the Philistines, the people who did not worship God. I had always read that and thought, how could God do that? How could He be so mad over something so innocent? Yet it was David, the man after God's own heart who missed this. It was Uzzah, who didn't follow God's instructions. It wasn't just one sin, it was one sin leading to another. David did not seek God. It seemed right to the people, but no one sought after God. I wonder how many times have I sought man's approval and not God's, and I missed out or caused catastrophes in my life or other's. The issue was that David disregarded God's Word and God's warnings. Uzzah disregarded God's Word & warning. Consulting our peers is no substitute for following God's Word when He has clearly spoken. Good intentions with sinful human counsel interfere with the kingdom of God. Because God is holy and all-knowing, why don't I go to HIM, and listen/wait on His answer rather than going to a person who doesn't know all, see all, and have my best interest at heart. No wander Jesus said we are like sheep. Sheep are dumb, and I are dumb. Oh wait . . . there it is again. Maybe I will learn from this . . . . .

Life Cycle of a pastor-by Thom Rainer.

I copied this primarily for my benefit later.

The Lifecycle of Pastors
Almost twenty years ago, I began to note that the tenure of a pastor often follows a predictable pattern. Now, almost two decades later, I still see many of the same patterns, though I have refined the categories and time spans a bit.

I fully understand that these categories are not definitive, and there will certainly be exceptions to the rule. Nevertheless, I offer this lifecycle as a guide that I hope will prove useful to both pastors and congregations alike.

Honeymoon: Years 0 to 1

The new pastor is perceived to be the answer to all the needs and the problems of the church. He is often viewed as a hero because he is not his predecessor. Though some of his faults begin to show during this period, he is often given a pass. Expectations are high that he will be molded into the image that each congregant would like to have.

Crisis: Years 1 to 3

It is now apparent that the pastor is fully human. He has not lived up to the precise expectations of many of the members. This phase includes a number of conflicts and struggles. Indeed it is the most common time that pastors choose to leave the church or they are force terminated. This single epoch of a pastoral tenure contributes more to short tenures than any other time.

Realignment: Years 3 to 5

The number of crises begins to abate, though they do not disappear altogether. It is at this time that more and more new members come under the tenure of the new pastor. Some of the dissidents have left the church or the community. There is a realignment of loyalty and expectations of the pastor. Thus he is able to lead more effectively, and began to see some more productive years as pastor of the church.

Growth: Years 5 to 10

Not all pastors have productive and joyous ministries in this period, but many do. It is not unusual for the congregation to begin to appreciate the pastor more and to follow his leadership with greater enthusiasm. Many of the battles have already been fought; and many of the conflicts have been resolved. The pastor and the entire congregation are ready to move forward in more productive ministry for the glory of God.

Mystery: Years 10 and Beyond

There are relatively few pastors and congregations that continue their relationships beyond a period of one decade. Thus any perspective I have of long-term pastorates is inconclusive and limited. I am confident, however, that if we see more and more pastors entering their tenth year of ministry and beyond, we will see more productive and fruitful ministries in local churches across the nation.

The Quest Continues

The topic of pastoral tenure fascinates me. I see significant correlation between ministry effectiveness and longer pastoral tenure, though there are certainly exceptions to the rule. I do hope that we will do a more comprehensive and objective study of this important issue in the future.

What is your perspective of pastoral tenure?

Reading Radical by David Platt

I have been going through the process, albeit rather slow due to the rocking of my world from this book, of reading RADICAL by David Platt. My wife has read it, and I have been intending to read it, and finally committed to doing it. I am not a reader by nature, but I had to do this one. Crazy Love by Francis Chan did this to me, especially chapters one and four, and quite frankly I had to marinate on that for a while.

This book is a lot like an earthquake or a punch to the face. It knocks you down, but after you recover, you realize that there is some things that you have allowed in your life (spiritually speaking of course) that should have never been allowed into your life.


I seriously questioned my faith and salvation. Why? It has caused me to look at my life compared to the lives of the men who followed after Christ. Mark 10 deals with a man who had it all yet wanted to follow after Christ. He was smart, he was wealthy, he was influential, the type that every American pastor wants who will influence others. yet this man wanted eternal life. Jesus knew his heart and knew what he truly needed. Jesus didn't say pray this prayer, sign this card, get baptized. He said, "go, sell everything you have, and give to the poor. Then come follow me." I like to think I would sell everything but I had to really ask myself would I? When Jesus went to Peter, Andrew, James, and John and said, "Come follow me", would I leave everything? Would I give up my job, my comforts, my family for uncertainty, danger, hunger. Would I drop my nets?

I am still going through the process of reading and applying these difficult words. I realize these words are just from a man, but if his words are difficult to hear and do, can you imagine how Jesus' words would have sounded when Jesus said that we must take up our cross, an instrument of torture, and follow Him? Or leave our families, or not take care of our parents as they age in order to follow Him. I could keep going but I hope you get the impact of Jesus' words. There can be nothing in my life that comes close to Him if I am truly going to follow Him. That means my wife, my kids, my job, my health, and yes, even my wealth.

What is the purpose of this blog entry? I am not sure except that I challenge you to read it and also that I need to express how much I have failed to follow God's Word. I have done it the American way, and the bottom line is that the American way is not God's way. It seems almost unpatriotic to say and it hurts my patriotic pride, but the simple fact I must face is that my allegiance is to my Lord and Savior not a country or what I believe our country should be and used to be. It is a tradition of man, and Jesus spoke against the traditions of man when He blasted the Pharisees. The only thing that I must hold to is God and His Word and making Him known and bringing glory and honor to Him.

And as I read, i am realizing how much I must do in order to fulfill what God asks of all of us. I am one of the worst to think about the poor, the hungry, the orphans, the widows. Yet my Lord tells us to do that very thing. I must take all of God's Word if I am to take it at all. I can't just take what makes me comfortable, but I must go and do this because I called to do this, you are called to do this by the Creator, the Lord whom I surrendered my rights to, the one who has saved me from the wrath of God.

I write this more for my benefit now and to remind me so I don't forget it and forsake it later. If it helps you, thank the Lord not me. I have much to learn in what time I have left.

To God be all the glory and may my life, my family, and all of me bring glory and honor to God.

Update

Over the past month, our world has been overwhelmed. Terra's dad had a hemmoradic (spelling?) stroke which has affected his memory, hearing, right side, and his speech. He sounds the same, but the words he uses are not always right. He may or may not remember your name or his grandkids' names. We will not know what is permanent for at least another month or possibly as much as 3. The blood from the bleeding on his brain has to be absorbed by the body.

The reality that we as a family are dealing with the possibility of permanent damage which causes fear and stress, especially on Terra, her sisters, and her mom. What will we do? Will things ever be the same? What will Terra's mom do with trying to run a daycare and taking care of him? We face a lot of uncertainty on our end. BUT . . . .

This has not caught God off-guard. He is on His throne and in control. Somehow this will bring Him glory. The issue I face is how do I help my wife? How do I help my family? What if he is never the same? And the question that lies in the room like the elephant that no one wants to talk about is WHY??????? I am around these type of things enough to know that we may never know. But my human nature still screams out wanting answers.

Would you (the few who may read this) pray for him and pray for Terra's mom? And would you ask the Lord to glorify Himself through this?

Too much time in hospitals

Have you been to a hospital in a waiting room, Emergency Room, or hospital room, and it just drains the life out of you. I don't mean just make you tired, but I mean the kind of "sucking the very life out of your bones and marrow" (if I can sound a little King James Version-esque). For whatever reason, this year and going back into last year has seemed to do this for me. I can't put my finger on it, but I think I might be at the starting point of grasping the bigger picture. But let me go back to the beginning of this diatribe to the Middle of December, 2010.


A man in our church was hit right in the sternum by a bull and broke every rib. He was in the hospital for weeks.

A girl in our church got a form of staph or strep that almost completely closed her airway. She was in the hospital for almost 2 weeks.

A close family friend's father (also in our church) went into the hospital and then got to go HOME but leaving us here.

A father of 4 of my students was in a car accident and is still in the hospital facing another surgery tomorrow as I write this. He faces a long road of rehab, longer than mine with my foot. Did I mention that they are all in our church?

Another female student, whose family is one of my most faithful student workers, has been battling some heart issues and then apparently had a focal seizure due to migraine headaches and has been in the ER and facing tests; again in our church.

A fellow staff member here in our church just had back surgery in the past week.

Another close family friend who is (you are beginning to the get the picture that they are in our church by now, right?) having their youngest son have another surgery tomorrow morning. He was in the hospital a little over a month ago battling stomach virus and the flu.

Then there is my family. My wife's sister had her first child this past Friday but he is still in the hospital due to not enough oxygen in his blood. He is only 2 weeks early. His parents have been handling this like warriors by the way, but they are related to me.

Last night my grandmother was admitted to the hospital due to a mini-stroke, which tests conclude that she is not at risk for a bigger stroke or another mini, but still in the hospital.



Here is my conclusion: God has to be up to something. I don't mean that He is causing this, but what I mean is that God must have some big plans for our church, b/c this has got to be Satan or the devil attacking us. But whatever it is, I long to see what God has planned. Jeremiah 29:11-14. You should go and read it.

But I am also realizing that I am weak and tired. And to be brutally honest, I don't want to go to any more hospitals. But I will. I don't want to see people I care about sick, injured, hurt, dying, etc. But it will happen. The reality is that I need an attitude adjustment like it talks about in Philippians 2:5-8. Again, you should go and read that and then pray that I will have this attitude. Maybe for all of us.

Bottom line, God do what you must to increase Your Kingdom. May I be found faithful to do all I can to make You stand out above all else.

Hasta La Vista 2010-I won't miss you

Last year was one of the years that I could do without. It was my 35th upon this rock we call Earth and it was one of the hardest emotionally, physically, etc. On Jan 1, I discovered my uncle had been murdered. Next came the ice storm which turned it all upside down here in Stephens County and Oklahoma.

On Aug 1, I was stupid and jumped from a 4 foot stage and broke my foot. 2 surgeries, a cast, 2 walking boots later, I am in 2 shoes but can't run or jump at all yet. It has been physically exhausting!

So needless to say, 2011, here's hoping you are better!

ever feel attacked

I have been reading in 1-2 Kings recently, and a story that has been on my mind for a days has the been the story of 1 Kings 17-18 where the prophet Elijah gets a Word from God and then must follow up on it. God has said that it won't rain until Elijah gives the word based upon the evil and sin of the people, particularly the sin of the King Ahab and his evil wife Jezebel. Then God send Elijah way out into the wilderness where God will watch over Elijah by sending ravens to bring food to him.

Long story short, finally the word from God comes to go and tell the king that they need to meet and rain will come soon. But Elijah tells the king to bring his "religious people" who worship the god of Baal to a place called Mt. Carmel. It is the ultimate in showdowns. These 400 prophets or priest of Baal are to prepare a bull for sacrifice but they can't set it on fire. They must pray to their god. It is quite comical on what happens and yet a picture of human blindness, futility, stupidity, er. you get the picture hopefully. Check out 1 Kings 18-25-29.

Then it is Elijah's turn and that starts in verse 40. He makes it near impossible for it happen unless God shows up and boy did God ever show up! Right after this, Elijah prays for rain it is a "gully washer" to borrow a phrase from the South.

But my reason for this post comes in Chapter 19 right after God has done all this amazing stuff and Elijah was used of God. Verses 1-2, Elijah was personally threatened, and attacked. Why would a man who has just seen God show up in such a powerful way, a miraculous way do what Elijah did as we see in verse 3. Did he not learn anything? Hello! God protected him, provided for him during the drought, and proved Himself all over.

Yet Elijah was fearful and wanted to die. Elijah was a man just like you and I. His life was threatened and he was personally being attacked. He had been in isolation for a while and I am sure he didn't like it much as we people need each other. But sometimes it is the people that we need the most who hurt the most. We feel betrayed. We feel hurt. We feel like the carpet has been pulled out from our feet and we don't think clearly. I am beginning to understand what Elijah may have been going through.

I am not going into specifics but I am feeling this way and I need to hear from God. Maybe the accusation is completely true, maybe not but this seems to be taken me out of sync. I wonder what this means. I wonder why. I feel betrayed. I feel hurt. I am mad to be honest. The bottom line is that I am in no way a man of Elijah's character or level. I am not one to be in the same conversation with the man, but the events that have taken place and truthfully been taking place for a while (i was just hoping that I was wrong about the person) would work themselves out. I think this might have been what Elijah was going through. I may be way off base, but it is where I am at or how it feels to me and may have felt to Elijah.

If you are one of the 2 or 3 who read this, would you lift me up? Would you ask God to give me and my family a teachable spirit? Would you ask that we honor God despite our circumstances and that we act with wisdom, discernment, and handle things with grace? Would you ask that I not act out on my emotions or feelings which is really what I want to do?

Thanks and if you find yourself feeling like this, please let me know so I can do the same for you.

Abbey reading.

October 16, 2010 4:13 PM

Jackson singing

the story of the foot-part one

It was the Sunday after Falls Creek, the world’s largest Christian youth camp. We had a great week at camp with 10 students choosing Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior. Our theme for Falls Creek was SENT-- as Jesus has called us and sent us out into the world to spread the Gospel. On this Sunday morning, we were in our 2nd worship service which is definitely a rocking service. We had been singing some songs that we had sung during camp. The song, “Sing like the saved” was being sung, and we came to the line, “we’re gonna dance like the saved”. So to liven things up even more, we were doing silly dances like the Sprinkler, the lawnmower, and more. A friend of mine known as Jessy Douglass said, “Jeremy, do the monkey bars!” This just happened to be a dance we did during camp led by our videographer Danny Tibbs. Naturally as any good student pastor will do, I started doing it and was doing it quite well I might add. I did it so well that one of the band calls me up. Thank you Mikey Eaves for this by the way. So I get up on stage, which is about 4 foot tall and I start doing the Monkey Bars on stage in front of at least 600 people. As I am doing this, I think to myself that I need to jump from the stage. The closer I get to the edge of the stage, the clearer it becomes that I must do this! It will be the perfect moment. It wouldn’t hurt anything and it would add to the atmosphere of this fun, energetic time of worship. (What I haven’t mentioned for those of you who don’t attend our church is that the students sit in the front in our center section and stage right front sections. I am on stage right in front of all of them.) The crowd was responding and enjoying. People were having fun, people were laughing, and people were singing. Church should be fun right! So back to our story.

We’re gonna dance like the saved, and I hit the edge of the stage and jump up at least a foot up from the stage level, which now makes me at least 5 foot off the ground. But I don’t just jump. I jump up with both of my arms spread out and my legs too. I am literally making an X with my body as I am flying up and now down to the ground. Suddenly the breeze from a 200 lb body hurling itself down to the ground causes my shirt which is untucked to fly up exposing my curvaceous midsection to be shown to at least 200 of the 600 people. Naturally being the gentlemen that I am, I try to pull my shirt down. Remember I am still flying through the air with the greatest of ease, but as I pull my shirt down I lose my balance and I am now about to land. The problem is that I am about to land on my left foot in the tippy-toe position with shoes that I don’t need to be jumping off a stage of 4 feet. Then it happens. I land and I fall down from my left foot to my left knee.

I can’t remember exactly what happened next. I think I crawled over to my chair but I may have hopped. Regardless everyone around me is laughing as I am, except I know something that they don’t. I know my foot is broke b/c I can feel things moving inside that shouldn’t be moving.

My darling wife is laughing but she is also embarrassed. As I tell her that I broke it, she doesn’t believe me at first but finally she goes to get me some Advil so I can make it through church. I did make it through, but honestly I don’t remember the sermon as I was in pain and trying to determine how bad it was. However the story is far from over.

As the sermon ends, the pastors, which I am one by the way, go up to the front to welcome anyone who is making a public decision or needs prayer, etc. I have to somehow stand. My pastor doesn’t realize exactly what happened as he didn’t see the jump. But I hobbled up as students came up to share with the church decisions that they had made while at camp. Normally at the end, our pastor shares with the church all the decisions but since so many are from camp, he asks me to come and share them. But I try to quietly tell him that I broke my foot, but he doesn’t believe me. Finally he begins to believe but tells me to hop up to share with the church. So now everyone is laughing that I broke my foot.

With more to come in part 2. . . . . .

Recent musings by yours truly

Over the past months, I have been going through an unusual time in my life. By reading Francis Chan's "Crazy Love", I was convicted specifically of being luke-warm in my faith as discussed in Revelations 3, and serving God left-overs rather than my best. I am still digesting all of this as I write, and I am still not certain how to proceed.

I have realized that I have been trying to do things in my power, by my will or control (which is truly an oxymoron if you think about it), and staying safe in what I am comfortable in. I know I must live more by faith but not certain exactly what that means. Specifically how do I lead my family to do this? How do I lead the adults who help serve in the student ministry? How do I lead the students?

This has been a difficult process and it is causing me to examine myself. Am I the leader to lead students to the next level? Am I going to be able to survive the pace of our church (which if you don't know is quite fast & unusual based on the things God has done in our church)? How can I be in this church that I love so much and survive for the long haul? The way that I am handling things is wearing me out, so what must I do to change in order to not only survive, but also to God-willing thrive in leading students to becoming lifelong followers of Christ who are passionate about their faith.

I would love to shoot whoever said following after Christ is easy. There are a lot of guys today who say that if you follow Christ, you can name whatever you want, and you will be blessed and get that. You will have the health you want and all the wealth you want. This could not be further from Scripture, but I see that it is affecting our students today. When real life happens, it causes them to question their faith. Why does bad things happen to good people? Why would God allow suffering? could it be that here in America we have become too accustomed to the good times and haven't experienced the persecution or enough bad times for us to trust in the Father? Actually the people of Israel did this too! But the reality is that I think if we don't watch ourselves, we will too and maybe that is what I have been doing myself.

No more leftovers

I am not quite sure what to call this phase of life that I am in.

Physically, I am 35 but feel 65, if you can know what a particular age feels like. I can't get enough sleep and when I can, my body hurts so I wake up. I don't exercise like I know I should b/c I am always tired when I can. My bouts with back pain continue, my eyes continue to cause issues, which only causes me stress and anxiety.

I am reading the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan. Yet God says in His word to "Rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS. Verse 6 goes on to say these condemning words "do not be anxious about anything."

I am paraphrasing from Chan's book now. When I convey my belief in my head that my stress/anxiety/circumstances are bigger than God's commands to always rejoice and not to be anxious about anything, I essentially say my issues are bigger than God's word and that I have the right to disobey God.

Here is direct from Chan on page 42
WORRY-imples that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives. STRESS--says taht the things that we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control."

OUCH!!! Who do I think that I am? Yet I struggle with this and I am in a place where emotionally, spiritually I feel drained and almost empty. I don't know what to do or how to do much, but I am trying to run to my Dad. To the one or two who may actually read this, I am not seeking your professional psychological advice but seeking your prayers.

The thing that this book and journey is teaching me that is that I don't want to give God any leftovers (chapter 5 of Crazy Love) but I am quite guilty of that. My Lord who has forgiven me of the unforgiveable, saved me from the impossible, and lifted me up out of the bottomless pit, deserves my very best.

It seems that I have been guilty of giving my best to my "job" but not to the One who called me to this "job." It is so easy in ministry to get so busy doing ministry that I neglect the most important relationship with my Lord and Savior. I have been so guilty of expecting God to do things my way and then get frustrated when my way was not met, that I not only put God in a box, but I ignored my time with Him.

I have just finished reading Ecclesiastes, which I must warn you not to read in a time of depression or sorrow b/c it is all meaningless anyway, a chasing after the wind, so it will only be gas to a fire. I don't want to mislead you or cause you to think that I have not been in the Word or spent time with God. But my time was been my leftover time. It has been when I could fit Him in, rather than making time for Him. I was looking at it more out of duty rather spending time with the One who has been chasing after me, waiting on me, and loving me in spite of my many failures.

Simply put, this blog has been more for my benefit than anyone else's, so that I could write out a little of what is going on my head. I just know that my Savior deserves my best, and I quite convicted that He has not received that. He deserves more from me, not b/c I should, but b/c I want to.

When you think of it or after reading this, would you lift up a prayer or two for me that God will consume all of me and that He will be in control and I will simply yield and quit trying it my way.

Do I have a Crazy kind of love?

I am reading a book that is must read for a Christian. In a time when many who call themselves Christians yet look and act no different than the world, this book by Francis Chan called "Crazy Love" is a necessary read. But I warn you upfront, don't read this book if you aren't willing to take your faith journey seriously. If you want to be like the world, live like the world, look like the world, then do not read this book.

However if you want to take your faith deeper and look more like Christ Jesus, then take the challenge. It is not an easy read by any means. I can only read part of it and then I have to put it down and confess/pray/repent/dig into the Word. However, the theology is right on and something we need for right now. At least I do.

Our church is going to be doing this as a small group Bible study on Sunday nights, and it will be something that will cause us to go deeper and quite possibly show our true colors. It is time, it is necessary, and it is a Godly mandate that we look/act/love differently than the world. I must be more like my Savior, my Lord, my God.

I hope you take the challenge. I hope you go deeper. I hope you have a Crazy kind of love.

For the Kingdom and for His glory

dealing with murder and more

On January 1, my uncle was shot and killed by a guy who worked for him. Needless to say, he was not one of high morality. In fact, he was just the opposite. However, throughout this entire process my anger has been more directed towards my uncle as has my mom, since it was her brother.

My uncle was an alcoholic. Alcohol was an accessory to the murder, since both men were drinking. In fact, both men were alcoholics and when drinking would get into knock-down drag out fights consistently according to my cousin, the son of my uncle.

My uncle also surrounded himself with people of less than noble character. He pushed everyone else away. The saying that people will drag you down is definitely certain in the case of my uncle. Surround yourself with people of honor and integrity and you will become more honorable and full of integrity. Surround yourself with the opposite and well, you get the picture.

My uncle was a Vietnam veteran. In fact, everyone who knew him before and after say that he was never the same. I would have liked to known the man before, but all I have known is the distant man whom I called Uncle Don. Regardless of whether you support a war or not, support our troops. Take it up with the politicians and not the soliders. They are only following orders. 2nd, don't be like many during the late 60's, 70's, and even now who spit on soliders, curse them, hold protests against the soldiers, or treat them as criminals. This only aided in the bitterness and anger of my uncle and other Vietnam veterans who deserve better.

Through this death, we are uncovering things that we did not know that were there. My mom is struggling which hurts my heart. She is angry, not at the murderer, but at my uncle as he chose to allow this guy around. He chose to drink. He chose to isolate himself. He chose not to be close to his son, which has only caused him to be angry as well. One man's choice has rippled into the lives of so many others.

When someone tells you that their choices/actions don't affect others, just think of my uncle.

Throughout this entire ordeal which is truly beyond the words or lack thereof that I can express. Christians have been praying for our family. I truly don't know how we would have gone through the past 10 days. Friends have called and shared their prayers. How do people get through the storms of life without the hope/peace/strength/grace that comes from Jesus?

So if that is you, thank you.

We still face the courts, a District Attorney in Cotton county who shares no information with the family. He won't even take an appointment. We wonder why our court system is corrupt and not worthy of trust. See him for an illustration. but God is on His throne and He is the One in control. He is the ultimate Judge. We still need your prayers, and my mom and my cousin need them the most.

Would you ask the Father to use this tragedy to draw my cousin to Him? Would God somehow get the glory through this!

A spiritual moment with my daughter

Tonight at church, we celebrated the Lord's Supper. In our church, we do not do this on a weekly basis as some do. Our 5 year daughter was with us tonight, which presented us an opportunity to "teach". As the bread was being passed, she grabbed for a piece which my wife and I had to tell her no, which my head-strong 5 year old did not like. She wanted to do what the big people were doing. My wife explained what the bread symbolized, the body of Jesus. Then it was my turn as I got my daughter on my lap and shared that born-again, baptized believers take part in this time to remember Christ's life, death, and resurrection.

What these moments did for me is to remind me of my need to pray for my child's salvation, but also her spiritual growth afterwards. Once we choose to make Jesus our Lord and Savior, this is just the beginning of our journey. So many times, when people make this choice, we forget that they are just babes in their spiritual journey. The important thing that we must do is to continue to help them to walk and grow in their relationship with Christ. We will never get to the goal until we stand before the Father. Until then, we must strive to become more like Him and die to ourselves.

This night as we looked back at the life of Christ, His death on the Cross, and His resurrection, we also looked ahead to His return. My purpose as a father is to prepare my children to be ready, to lead them to a place where they have opportunities to follow the King of kings and Lord of lords.

In this Christmas season, let's us not forget that Jesus is the Son of God and that He left the Father for us. There is no other faith/religion/god/etc that did anything for its followers except what we call the Christian faith. Allah did nothing, Buddha did nothing, the Hindu gods have done nothing, only the Father. This is not a Happy Holidays type of thing. This is the reason we have hope and can have peace. It is all about Jesus and we must not allow our world to silence us. We must stand up and speak out that Jesus is the only reason for this season or really any other.

Eyes

I recently had eye surgery. Not Lasik, but to minimize my double vision. I have always seen more than one image, but only until the last 6-9 months has it gotten to where I was seeing 2 images. I have had this surgery previously, but this was more difficult.

The entire process, particularly the healing process after surgery has had my mind thinking. How well we see is determined by several factors such as genetics, birth defects, prescription glasses or contacts, etc. But what about our spiritual vision?

I could not read the Bible until only yesterday, so I had to rely on my wife to read to me at night. It minimized my time with God and it affected my spiritual vision. I thought more through the lens of my flesh & bone rather than the spirit of God. Selfish thoughts crept in and took over more readily than the times that I am in the Word.

It affected how I treated my kids. Granted, part of this might have the fact that I was going stir crazy too, but my anger and lack of patience were more easily seen than when I am close to my heavenly Father.

But I wonder, what do we see and what are you seeing right now? Is your spiritual lens on? Is it clean? Are you in focus with Him?

Love or Duty

This thought was passed to me and others @ a conference for student pastors in Oklahoma City, OK. Jarrod Jones was our speaker. He warned us not to preach duty to God, but share the love of God and our need to love God. We must teach the Gospel as well as Grace. The key is that we do not focus on behavior modification. He focused on several passages but the ones that deal with this issue comes from Rom. 7:4, 14.

Here is difficulty. Behavior modification is tangible & measureable. A heart and love for God is not easily measured. As a minister, we want to neatly package things so that people can see immediate results and we as well. Yet, the spiritual journey of our faith and growth as followers of Jesus is nothing immediate and sometimes not measureable by human standards.

Just something to thank about.